


such small hands

by ittybittylouisx



Category: One Direction
Genre: M/M, also im posting this with my ipod so idk if it will look any different or like, first fic, sorry if it sucks, uhh idk i wrote this like 2 years ago??? so i decided to rewrite it, um if like insomnia and medication triggers u dont read, what is tagging
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-01
Updated: 2015-03-01
Packaged: 2018-03-15 18:03:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3456683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ittybittylouisx/pseuds/ittybittylouisx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One antidepressant, one pill to sleep better, and two spoonfuls of sugar in his tea. That's what it takes to keep Louis stable, to keep him sane. That and a worn copy of his favourite novel. Even then sometimes it isn't enough to keep the dreams away, to keep him away. The boy, who's deep jade eyes are etched into Louis' memory.</p>
            </blockquote>





	such small hands

**Author's Note:**

> first fic ok go easy on me. thank u to everyone on tumblr that read/reblogged/liked my fic
> 
> tumblr - starryprincelouis

One antidepressant, one pill to sleep better, and two spoonfuls of sugar in his tea. That's what it takes to keep Louis stable, to keep him sane. That and a worn copy of his favourite novel. Even then sometimes it isn't enough to keep the dreams away, to keep him away. The boy, who's deep jade eyes are etched into Louis' memory. During the day he's got plenty of things to keep him busy, to keep his mind from wandering back to the dream he had the night before; classes in the afternoon, volunteering at the animal shelter in the evening. Some weekends he'll go out with Liam and Zayn but Louis fell out of that scene about a year ago. He still goes, just to make his best friends happy and in hopes of having something to do other than study or worry about the strange boy in his dreams. 

Louis' only told his mum and his therapist about this dream, about the boy. Whenever Liam and Zayn question the distant look in his eyes or the tired tone in his voice he'll just reply with a lazy smile and a "just a bit tired, didn't get much sleep last night" or "exams are kicking my arse" which both are true but he really just doesn't feel like straight up saying "I dream about this beautiful boy I have never met and I think I'm going insane, how was your day lads?" So he just explains he's tired or feeling ill or a bit stressed from school.

It isnt the fact that the dream happens about five nights out of the week. It isn't the fact that this dream has felt so real that Louis swore he once saw the boy lying in his bed the next morning. It isn't the fact that he doesn't even know the name of the boy. It isn't the fact that he has to be put on medication in order to function like a normal human being or that the dreams have even gone as far as touching each other and Louis' woken up by a headache and a drying spot on his sweats from cumming in his sleep. Lovely. It's the fear of never knowing when this will stop and who this boy is.

Classes are over and Louis has about two hours before he gets ready to volunteer at the animal shelter. He hasn't visited his mum in a few weeks so he decides to stop by her house because she always has something to say that gets him through the day and it works better than any pill. She fixes him a cup of tea when he gets there and he kicks his Vans off by the door then shuffles over to the couch, plopping down on the cushions. His mum enters the room with two cups of tea, handing one to him and warning him that it's a bit hot. Louis sips at the tea anyways, letting it warm his throat, eyes slipping shut with a huff. He's used to keeping his feelings hidden from most people, but with his mum she can always tell when something is up and she usually knows exactly what's wrong so she doesn't say much about it, just brings his head to her shoulder and sighs with him. "I drove by that cafe you used to work at, said hi to Perrie and got a coffee before work. She said she misses you, hasn't seen you in what feels like forever. You should stop by, maybe catch up with her and just have some time to yourself. You're always so busy, it worries me." She says before bringing the cup of tea to her lips and taking a sip. Louis thinks that just might be a good idea. 

After his shift at the shelter the next day, Louis decided he may as well head down to that cafe, say hello to Perrie and grab a coffee to go and come back home and finish his F.R.I.E.N.D.S marathon. He figures walking there would be nice, despite the snow and slush outside. He needs some fresh air. The sidewalks are clear so his shoes don't get wet on the way there. Louis pulls the door open and he's greeted with the familiar warmth of the cafe and the different aromas of all the coffee and pastries, music playing softly. He recognizes the song and mouths along as he hangs his coat and scarf up on a hook near the door, pulling his gloves off and stuffing them in the pocket of his coat. 

"Louis!" Perrie called from across the room, carefully setting a cup down on the table in front of a customer before walking over to him, fixing her ponytail. She hugs him tightly, rocks a bit from side to side and pulls away. "I saw your mum the other day, she got the usual. How've you been, love?" Perrie beamed, walking Louis to a table near a window. "Alright I suppose, exams are finally over. Mum told me you asked about me so I figured I'd stop in and chat for a bit, maybe get a coffee." Louis tells her with a smile, sitting at the table. "Well yeah, I haven't seen you in a while. What can I get you?" She scribbles something on her little notepad, glazed donut and a small coffee, talks for a few moments then makes her way to get his order. 

The bell above the door dings and Louis feels like he might faint. He's real, he's there and he's real. Louis isn't crazy, the boy is real because he's just walked into the cafe, stomping the snow off his boots and pushing a hand through his hair, bits of snow sticking to his curls. He offers a warm smile to Perrie before walking over to the table in front of Louis'. Louis lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding, picks up the menu and hides behind it, trying to wrap his mind around all this. He peers over the menu to find the boy staring at a menu of his own. Louis sets his menu down with shaky hands and picks up the book he brought with him, quickly opening it to a random page. Perrie is at his side, setting down the plate with the donut and his coffee. Louis manages a thank you and pours a bit of sugar in the coffee, stirring it with his spoon, head still clouded. Is this another dream? Did Louis really wake up this morning? He hears someone clear their throat and he looks up.

"Um, I'm not sure if you knew or not but you've got your books upside down. And I kind of saw you staring at me a moment ago." The boy from Louis' dream speaks, and it's then Louis knows he isn't asleep because there is no way he could dream up someone like this. He's even more beautiful in real life; his voice deep but soft, a dimple cratering his left cheek, a smile set on thin lips, curls framing his face. And his eyes. Those are the eyes that have literally kept Louis up at night. They're a rich green, the kindest eyes Louis' ever seen. He realises he hasn't said anything within the past few moments that the boy has been sitting in front of him, he's not really sure what to say honestly. "I'm sorry, I just-" Louis stammers, setting his book down. "I think I saw you in my sleep."


End file.
